Eleanor had been working at the Dead Letter Office for five years, but nothing could prepare her for the letter she found one chilly December morning. It was an envelope addressed simply to “God,” written in shaky handwriting that looked like it had been penned during an earthquake.
Inside, Eleanor read a letter that squeezed her heart:
“Dear God, I’m Martha, 85 years young and running low on miracles. Yesterday, some sneaky youngster with fast hands swiped my purse with my entire month’s pension—$120. I’ve got five dear friends coming for Christmas dinner, and now I can’t even afford a can of cranberry sauce. I know you’re busy with world peace and all, but could you spare a miracle for an old lady with a sweet tooth and empty cupboards? Love, Martha (the one with the crooked garden gnome collection at the end of Maple Street).”
Eleanor shared the letter with her coworkers, and by lunchtime, they’d collected $116—pooling coffee funds, lunch money, and even that secret candy bar stash everyone pretended not to know about.
A week after Christmas, another letter arrived at the Dead Letter Office:
“Dear God, You’re a real peach! That $116 you left in my mailbox made for the best Christmas dinner ever! My friends said it was divine intervention, and I’d say they’re right! Even my arthritis felt better!
P.S. Some sticky-fingered postal worker must’ve skimmed $4 off the top. Might want to look into that. I hear you’ve got connections with Santa’s naughty list! Love, Martha.”
The Persistent Lady and the Broccoli
An elderly woman walks into a supermarket and starts tossing frozen veggies onto the floor. The manager, a bit concerned, approaches her and asks, “Can I help you?”
“I’m looking for broccoli,” she says.
The manager tells her they’re out of stock, and she leaves.
An hour later, she returns and starts throwing frozen veggies around again. The manager, now really confused, asks, “Can I help you?”
“I’m looking for broccoli,” she replies.
Once again, the manager tells her it’s out of stock.
As the store is about to close, the woman walks straight to the frozen veggie section. Just as she’s about to start throwing them again, the irritated manager finally asks, “Can I help you?”
“I’m looking for broccoli,” she answers again.
The manager, fed up, says, “Madam, can you spell ‘dog’ in Dogmore?”
She replies, “D-O-G.”
“Very good. Now, can you spell ‘cat’ in Catsdelight?”
She says, “C-A-T.”
“Great! Now, can you spell ‘F’ in Broccoli?”
She looks at him, puzzled, and says, “There’s no ‘F’ in broccoli.”
The manager smirks, “Madam, I’ve been trying to tell you that all day!!”
😂 Hope these jokes made you smile! Have a wonderful day!
