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When Marriage Becomes a Transaction: Andrea’s Breaking Point

Money fights in marriage? I thought those were reserved for big-ticket issues—buying a house, saving for retirement, splurging on a vacation. Never in a million years did I think I’d be arguing with my husband over Wi-Fi.

But there I was, staring at a $20 Venmo request from Thomas—a charge for my share of the internet because I worked from home that day.

Something inside me snapped.

It wasn’t about the money. It was about what our marriage had turned into: a constant calculation of who owed what, where love and partnership had been replaced by spreadsheets and itemized expenses.

I used to admire Thomas’s financial responsibility. When we first got together, his meticulous budgeting and solid savings account seemed like green flags—proof that he was a responsible adult who wouldn’t drag me into debt.

At first, we handled our finances fairly: separate accounts for personal spending, a joint one for mortgage, utilities, and groceries. It worked.

Until it didn’t.