☁️ When You Realize Heaven Was Just One Cheat Day Away…
An 85-year-old couple, married nearly 60 years, tragically passed in a car accident and arrived at the Pearly Gates together.
Thanks to the wife’s obsession with kale, yoga, and everything gluten-free, they were in tip-top shape right up to the end.
St. Peter greets them with a smile and leads them to their new heavenly home—a luxury mansion with a massive master suite, Jacuzzi, gourmet kitchen, and yes… a pool table.
“Wow,” the husband says, eyes wide. “How much does all this cost?”
St. Peter laughs. “Nothing. This is Heaven. It’s all free.”
Then they tour a world-class golf course—immaculate greens, changing daily to match the world’s top courses, and their own personal angel caddy.
“And the green fees?” asks the wife.
“Still free,” Peter grins. “This is Heaven, remember?”
Next stop: a five-star buffet with lobster, prime rib, Wagyu beef, desserts that look illegal, and portions big enough to make your grandma proud.
The husband eyes the buffet suspiciously. “What’s the catch? Calories? Cholesterol?”
Peter shakes his head. “You can eat anything. You’ll never get fat or sick again. Enjoy!”
Suddenly, the husband throws his hat on the ground, fuming.
“What’s wrong?” the wife asks.
He points at her and yells, “This is YOUR fault! If it weren’t for your stupid bran muffins and kale smoothies, we could’ve been here TEN YEARS AGO!!”
😂
Heavenly vibes… ruined by fiber.
Hope that gave you a good laugh today!
👴🔊 “Honey, What’s for Dinner?”—The Hearing Test Gone Wrong
An older gentleman noticed his wife wasn’t hearing him like she used to.
“Babe, I think you should get your hearing checked,” he said.
She waved him off. “I’m fine. You’re mumbling.”
So, determined to prove his point, he comes up with a plan.
He stands at the top of the stairs and yells:
“Honey! What’s for dinner?”
…No response.
He walks halfway down. “Honey! What’s for dinner?!”
Still nothing.
Now at the bottom of the stairs:
“Honey!! What’s for dinner?!”
Nada.
Finally, he walks right up behind her in the kitchen and shouts:
“What’s for dinner?!”
She spins around and goes,
“For the FOURTH TIME, AL… IT’S CHICKEN!!!”
😂😂😂
Turns out, he was the one who needed the hearing test all along!
