In an Anglican church, each service begins with a greeting.The officiating clergyman says, “The Lord be with you.” The congregation used to respond by saying, “And with thy spirit.” But, with the modernizing of the liturgy, the minister now says, “The Lord be with you,” and everyone responds with, “And …
In an Anglican church Read More
A blonde walks into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf. She asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object?” The clerk replies, “That is a thermos.” The blonde then asks, “What does it do?” The clerk responds, “It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold …
A blonde walks into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf. Read More
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.God comes and says, “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to …
Is the wife in control? Read More
An old couple, George and Martha, are sitting on their front porch rocking in their chairs, watching the sun go down like they have every evening for the past 40 years. George turns to Martha and says, “You know, Martha, I’m proud of us. All these years, through thick and …
The Old Couple and the Hearing Aid Read More
One night the 96-year-old draws a bath, puts his foot in, and pauses. He yells down the stairs, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The 94-year-old yells, “I don’t know, I’ll come up and see.” He starts up the stairs and pauses, then yells, “Was I going …
Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together Read More
A woman walked into a pet shop and immediately noticed a large, beautiful parrot with a price tag of just $50. “Why so cheap?” she asked. The shop owner hesitated. “I’ve got to be honest with you… this parrot used to live in a b.r.o.thel. It might say some inappropriate …
A woman walked into a pet shop Read More
One evening, a husband—feeling a little too confident for his own good—decided to tease his wife. “Maybe we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast,” he chuckled. “Could take a few inches off your backside!” Cue the awkward silence. His wife, however, was not one to let such comments …
When Husbands Get Too Clever Read More
? Harriet and Stanley vs. The Smart Home: A Hilarious Battle for Survival ? Harriet and Stanley were both pushing 90 when their tech-obsessed grandson convinced them to upgrade to a “smart home.”Lights, thermostat, even the fridge — everything was voice-activated. “Welcome to the future!” he cheered. Well… the future …
Harriet and Stanley were in their late 80s and had just moved into a new home Read More
A sweet grandmother called St. Joseph’s Hospital and, in a soft, trembling voice, asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator replied warmly, “Of course, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?” The grandmother hesitated slightly …
A sweet grandmother called St. Joseph’s Hospital Read More
She Thought She Caught Him Red-Handed… But Then She Read the Note! A woman, fed up with her husband coming home late night after night, decided to teach him a lesson. She left a dramatic note:“I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t bother looking for me.” Then she hid under …
A wife cranky because her husband was late coming home again Read More