The Ultimate Revenge Letters
Letter #1: The Husband’s Bold Move
“My dear wife, I trust you’ll understand I have certain needs that, at 57, you can no longer fulfill. I’m happy with you and appreciate all you’ve done as a good wife.
After reading this, I hope you won’t misunderstand my plans for the evening. I’ll be with my 19-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel, but don’t worry—I’ll be back before midnight.”
Oh, the nerve, right? But wait for the savage twist our savvy 57-year-old heroine delivers when he returns home late that night, probably feeling smug. On the dining table, he finds a note:
Letter #2: The Wife’s Brilliant Counterattack
“My dear husband, thank you for your honesty about my age. It’s good to know you still think of me as a loving wife at 57.
Just a quick reminder—you are also 57. I’m a math teacher at our local college, and tonight I’ll be at Hotel Fiesta with Michael, a 19-year-old student who’s also the assistant tennis coach.
Now, as a successful businessman with a solid understanding of math, you’ll appreciate this: while we are in similar situations, there’s a key difference—19 goes into 57 more times than 57 goes into 19.
I’ll be home sometime tomorrow.”
Best Divorce Letter Ever
Dear Wife,
I’m writing to let you know that I’m leaving you forever. In our seven years of marriage, I’ve been a good husband, but you’ve given me nothing in return.
These past couple of weeks have been really tough. Two weeks ago, you came home, and didn’t even notice that I made your favorite meal, got a fresh haircut, or bought a new pair of boxers.
You just ate, watched your soaps, and went straight to bed.
The truth is, you don’t care about me anymore. You don’t say “I love you,” or touch me.
Either you don’t love me or you’re cheating on me. Either way, I’m done. I’m leaving.
Your Ex-Husband
P.S. Please don’t try to find me. Your sister Carla and I are moving to West Virginia. Best of luck.
