2. Sibling Rivalry Over Mom’s Birthday Gift
Three brothers—Gerard, Howard, and Norman—competed for the best gift for their mom’s 90th birthday.
“I built her a mansion,” said Gerard.
“I sent a Tesla with a chauffeur,” said Howard.
“I sent her a parrot that knows the Bible,” said Norman.
A week later, Mom’s thank-you notes:
“Gerard, the house is too big. I only use one room.”
“Howard, the car’s great, but the driver’s a nightmare.”
“Norman, you’re the only one who understands me… The roast chicken was delicious, but it was small.”
Turns out, Norman’s bird became dinner!
3. The 3 a.m. Push Request
At 3 a.m., my husband answered a knock on the door. A man, soaking wet, asked for a push.
“You want a push at 3 in the morning?”
Later, after some persuasion, my husband stepped outside. “Where are you?”
“On the swing set!”
The look on his face? Priceless.
4. A Divorced Woman’s Corvette Joyride
A newly divorced woman bought a shiny red Corvette and hit the highway. Going 100 mph, she was pulled over by a cop.
“Ma’am, if you can give me an excuse I haven’t heard before, I’ll let you go.”
She grinned. “Last week, my husband ran off with a cop. I thought you were bringing him back!”
The officer couldn’t stop laughing. “Alright, ma’am. Have a nice day!”