A soldier, out of breath, ran up to a nun.
“Please, may I hide under your skirt? I’ll explain later.”
The nun hesitated but nodded. Moments later, two Military Police officers ran up.
“Sister, have you seen a soldier?”
The nun pointed down the road. “He went that way.”
Once the MPs were gone, the soldier crawled out. “I can’t thank you enough, Sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Iraq…”
The nun smiled. “I understand completely.”
The soldier glanced at her legs and blurted out, “I hope this isn’t rude, but you have a great pair of legs!”
The nun smirked. “If you had looked a little higher, you would’ve seen a great pair of balls… I don’t want to go to Iraq either.”
Veterans and Their “Heroic” Lineage
At the VFW hall, three old vets were swapping stories about their ancestors.
“My great-grandfather was a drummer boy at Shiloh—at only 13!” one bragged.
“That’s nothing,” another chimed in. “Mine went down with Custer at Little Big Horn!”
The third shrugged. “I’m the only soldier in my family, but if my great-grandfather were alive today, he’d be the most famous man in the world.”
His buddies leaned in. “Really? What did he do?”
“Not much… but he’d be 165 years old.”
How to Spot True Bravery
General McKenzie, head of the Navy, visited General Marshall’s Army base.
“So, how are your men?” McKenzie asked.
“Extremely well-trained,” Marshall assured him.
McKenzie scoffed. “My Navy men are the bravest in the country.”
Marshall smirked. “Oh yeah? Let’s see.”
He called over a soldier. “Private Johnson! Stop that tank with your body!”
Private Johnson’s eyes widened. “Are you crazy?! I’m outta here!” and he bolted.
Marshall turned to McKenzie. “See? You gotta be really brave to say that to a general.”
The Bench That Time Forgot
A new general arrived at his base and noticed something strange—two soldiers were guarding an empty bench around the clock.
He asked around. No one knew why. “It’s just tradition,” an officer shrugged. “Been like that since I got here 35 years ago.”
Determined to solve the mystery, the general tracked down the retired commander from 35 years back.
When they met, he asked, “Sir, do you remember why that bench has been guarded for decades?”
The old commander’s eyes widened. “Wait… are you telling me the paint STILL hasn’t dried?!”
