A mom is driving her little girl to a playdate when the little one asks, “Mommy, how old are you?”
The mom, trying to avoid the question, responds, “Sweetie, you’re not supposed to ask a lady her age, it’s not polite.”
A few moments later, the girl asks, “Okay, how much do you weigh?”
The mom, getting a little frustrated, says, “Now those are personal questions, dear. None of your business.”
But the little girl is undeterred. “Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?”
“Enough questions!” the mom says, exasperated.
Later, when the girls start playing, the little one tells her friend, “My mom won’t tell me anything about herself.”
Her friend responds, “Just check her driver’s license—it’s like a report card, it tells you everything.”
That evening, the little girl proudly tells her mom, “I know how old you are. You’re 32.”
Surprised, the mom asks, “How did you figure that out?”
“I also know you weigh 130 pounds,” the girl says, beaming.
“Wait, how in the world did you know that?” the mom asks, shocked.
“And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce,” the little girl adds triumphantly.
“Really?” the mom says, worried. “Why?”
“Because you got an F in s*x.”
Another day, a little girl watches her mom doing dishes when she notices a few white hairs among her mom’s brown ones.
“Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” she asks.
“Well,” the mom explains, “every time you do something bad and make me cry, one of my hairs turns white.”
The girl thinks for a moment and then asks, “So, why is ALL of Grandma’s hair white?”
And finally, little Logan is seated at the dinner table when he starts eating without waiting for the prayer.
“Logan, wait for the prayer!” his mom reminds him.
“I don’t have to,” Logan replies.
“Of course you do! We always pray before eating,” his mom insists.
“That’s at OUR house,” Logan explains, “but this is Grandma’s house, and she knows how to cook!”
Kids say the darndest things! Do any of these stories remind you of your little ones?
